Monday, June 15, 2015

15. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

No shit, Sherlock

I see that fortune cookie writers run dry and fall back on cliches too
How about something punchy like Hey, Sunshine! Your world is on fire

You make me wonder, Universe,
if I can write myself out of this rut,
if I can right myself

Wake with mild nausea and annoyance at 11:39 PM
to go and meet a man in the ER
reportedly suicidal without a plan
for a moment, in your delirium,
you think they want you to help him make one

Return to bed at 3 AM
having assisted with an anti-suicide plan
something the insurance company will pay for
you opened the gate

Calculate in your head what the trip will net you:
a few dollars to throw in the hole

She's been quiet today, and you feel the distance lying here
trying to interpret it across the miles through the darkness

There's a chill in the air with the slider open
and you fall asleep wrapped in an unwashed sheet
preparing to be alone, feeling your own pulse,
setting your alarm for three hours out

......

There's no shortage of these young men
in the middle of the night
lying in ER beds
hopeless, helpless, homeless,
not much to say
opioid addicted, mid to late 20s.
thinking of ending it

Catch a whiff of their desert
feel the pull of their vacuum
spiraling down through
the late Spring of their lives

This time we have presses down
with all this not knowing
what to do with ourselves,
frighteningly short
and impossibly long

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