30. Two things to aim for in life - to get what you want and to enjoy it.

Bukowski reportedly said something like that too - find what you love and let it kill you. 

Me, I'm sick from seeing all these appetites, this relentless drive, consumption without end. Devouring hordes colliding. Maybe I'm frail or something, but I just don't want any. I'm staying in -got myself to eat.

Tonight the Harvest Moon appears, a Super Moon and lunar eclipse combination. Tell it what you want. Imbue it with significance. Surrender to its mystery. I can enjoy a moment thoroughly - disappear in it. It's like a gun to my head. But give me more time than that, and I will certainly find a way to fuck it up.

The feeling is a treasure when you have it - something you will always keep, something you would never change. But change it will, change it does, and you find yourself unrecognizable and cold. You do not know where to set the next foot.

I interviewed a candidate for a roommate tonight - a man in his 50s with an old dog. Change is happening.

Two things to swallow in life - what is happening and accepting it.