Spent a good part of yesterday
realizing how frequently in the course of
a day I check out of my life in avoidance
of direct experience.
There are reasons for this, maybe justifications
I could make, but I sure do it a lot. Where I go is
into this loop, and there is no hope to be found there,
so I tried to avoid flying off and just sat in the inane.
Empty words and stage laughter to fill space and time.
If I stay, I feel assaulted and confined, want to respond with aggression -
parry, slash, thrust, vertical butt stroke - bleeding, they might take pause
next time. Let's not talk just for the noise, ok?
realizing how frequently in the course of
a day I check out of my life in avoidance
of direct experience.
There are reasons for this, maybe justifications
I could make, but I sure do it a lot. Where I go is
into this loop, and there is no hope to be found there,
so I tried to avoid flying off and just sat in the inane.
Empty words and stage laughter to fill space and time.
If I stay, I feel assaulted and confined, want to respond with aggression -
parry, slash, thrust, vertical butt stroke - bleeding, they might take pause
next time. Let's not talk just for the noise, ok?
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