Spirit Radio

He said I had spirits about me to keep me from despairing,
but there are moments when that feeling comes on,
the way events arrange themselves, when you believe
he's right

The car radio this morning,
a new leaf having been turned,
experiencing post-acute withdrawal
symptoms in mind and body...

{When you resist the unwanted thoughts (craving not wanting), you are attending to them - feeding them, making them stronger. This makes them come harder, as they do now.}

... Don't you cry cuz she is gone
She is only moving on
Chasing mirrors through the haze...

Start the car, try to exhale the distress,
try the approach of welcoming them in, letting them pass through
even if they smash the furniture. But if you just stand here staring,
remembering, feeling their vibrating wings - they will sting you to death.

Don't stay here. Push forward off this well worn track. This place is no longer habitable.
Driving the same route, familiar sights represent moments in time, cueing the same memories, evoking the same rush of blood from my heart (how can there be any left?) and the same pain.
This has got to change. Take another route home. make another way, build a different home.

I need a graceful, proud way to let go
Says the Spirit Radio five minutes out from work.
You're either talking to me, or there's an awful lot of us
down here who could use your help.