Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Unpunctuated

My thoughts if they're thoughts at all not just fears or programming or compulsions or drives keep running and running dragging me behind and I'm trying not to lose my genitals to road-burn shifting from side to side trying to limit contact with the road surface to hips buttocks and thighs until it stops or I break loose which fills me with shame thinking I spend too much time worrying about myself and then understanding that the trick is to time things right and leap right out of your head into what's going on around you in real life in the world and so on the turnpike you think you will treat yourself to a chain restaurant steak tonight so you exit and pass the scene of an officer involved shooting though you don't find out what's going on until later and there's a douchebag at the bar with a bluetooth in his ear having a loud enough to hear too well phone conversation allegedly with a lady who is talking about her fantasy of being in a threesome with this dude and another woman and it's just more evidence that everyone has been ruined by internet porn except maybe the people to my right who are a couple from the greater Dallas area that have noticed people here look at you suspiciously when you try to make conversation and then of course there are three screens of sports playing simultaneously including women's soccer in an almost empty stadium football replays that last all frigging week and NHL hockey which forces me into a feeling of suffocation deflecting my attention to everyone around the bar and the bartender all of whom annoy me except one woman who looks good but doesn't want to notice me at all and even if she did she'd no doubt do so only to agree that my earlier notion to learn meditation in order to get off this drag is a fine idea 

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