Trip

Went into Boston for music. Walked the streets of Somerville after having sweat through all my clothes. Spent, completely. It's good to lose your mind entirely every now and again. 

I danced, or something, and felt the energy in the form of sonic waves moving back and forth between the bands and the audience. I became actively involved in that exchange. Other people in the audience weren't much of a factor. They allowed me a lot of space though. I think I got a little closer to releasing something. I think I gave some and I know that I received. 

The night air was cool and I walked in only a t-shirt trying to get dry. I walked past a mostly-darkened hospital. There's an 8-year-old girl in there. I know because I helped to get her there earlier in the week. Her name jumped into my mind and I tried to send calmness in her direction. Summer camp with new friends.

There were only a few people out walking. One in skinny jeans and leather jacket weaving drunken diagonals along the sidewalk. At some point, while talking to myself, I overtook the person now sitting in a bus shelter. How's it going, man? I asked. The person stared blankly past me. Not there. Entirely elsewhere. All alone in that place.

I was looking up at a third floor apartment. There was an inviting yellow glow in the large window. Soft and warm. A string of Christmas lights along where the walls meet the ceiling. I imagined myself there.

To be invited. To be made welcome. To be received. 

I remembered with awe the act of being received. Did I understand the profundity of it then? I don't think so. I was too close. I felt it though. 

I understand the profundity of it now only because I am so far distant.