Tuesday, July 28, 2020

What am I doing here? (Part 1)

I talk to Mr. Joe across the street sometimes, but I've never had him over to socialize. I don't know any of my other neighbors. I've slept in this town for nearly 20 years but never really lived here. I like the woods, the wildlife, the changing seasons and the unstable elements here. I don't particularly care for many of the people.

Yesterday, I went to the pharmacy and general store to buy some antacids. Impulsively, I picked up a Powerade for my cramping hands and a box of cotton candy Mike & Ike's for Jack. The store is small. I hesitated for a moment, trying to remember what I came for, when one of the pharmacists asked could she help me just a little too loudly. "Tums," I said, annoyed, and walked away. The cashier was ready to ring me up while I was still looking around. That annoyed me too.

I walked outside into a bleached out sunny morning. All the buildings are old, white, protestant. I mailed some bills in the post office, almost walking into a man who was walking out. "Excuse me," I said. He said nothing. He had bangs. He looked annoying. "Asshole," I muttered.

Today, I tried to run a mile loop through the subdivision behind my house. I felt as though I'd never run before. It was unpleasant. The houses are large there, the yards landscaped and well maintained. Not like mine. I was surprised to see a black man tending his flowers. I waved minimally, gasping for breath. His neighbor has a bumper sticker: Gun Owners For Trump. 

Tomorrow, I'll probably struggle through that loop again. Not sure why.

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