Waters

Reading and emotionally revisitng an episode from more than 30 years ago has stirred and muddied my waters. When we involve ourselves with others, we truly become ghosts in their stories. While at the same time we are living out our own stories with the other as a ghost in ours. Our lives are seemingly separate, painfully so when you're trying to get closer, but they are already invisibly and permanently intertwined. This becomes evident after the relationship is terminated. We are part of each other now, more than just a ghost to be dressed up and projected upon, but we are also that. I am all alone now, except for the dishwasher's churning and the furnace's burning, but I feel myself as part of You (plural, as people, but singular, as in the same ghost) spread across several places. I am quiet here now, trying to feel you.