Gray

After a long time in bed, I'm waking to rain. I abandoned the plan to get up early, go for a walk, do the dishes. I'm gray today, so far at least. Unanswered phone calls. Closed my account on the dating site. It's been an exercise in learning all the things I don't want - which is useful knowledge, I guess. Another week of work. Of possibility, you add, trying to challenge an apocalyptic attitude.

At the tail end of the day, I stop for gas in the town I live in (for no good reason at all) and decide on dinner in the tavern over a sandwich at home. The bartender takes my order. She looks lovely in her mask because it accentuates those dark glittering eyes. It's always the eyes that do me in. I'm cool with masks. But I'm not done in this time, just here for steak tips and rice with a salad and a couple of drinks. To her I'm just some old guy, not quite familiar, but familiar enough for a foundational humorous exchange. 

The regulars in this place depress me. With some regularity.