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We spent some time together. We talked about work and family. At some point I stopped feeling awkward. What sticks with me though is when she said I was someone who can't get out of my own way. 

It's good to be with people, sometimes. 

Yesterday, I seeded the little strip of backyard where I'd removed the sod with native wild flowers. Then I bought the only watering can the local hardware store had. I've lived here over 20 years and never planted much. Working in the soil, maybe the smell of it, reminds of growing up and hearing other words used to describe me. 

When you are alone, sometimes you find yourself using those words too. 

Today, I behaved better toward myself than that. I got work done, stayed engaged in the process, watered the flower seeds twice, walked around the neighborhood with twenty pounds of water on my back, saw the light of the half moon, heard the peepers, and met the first of the black flies. 

Good job, son.