Microeconomics

The back story is that I'd met her on an island as part of a small group of strangers at a retreat one summer day. We spent about 36 hours together. Early on, she told me that I seemed normal and asked if she could set her bed up next to mine. She was young and beautiful and seemed in need of watching over. 

That night, I watched a porcupine enter the circle of mostly sleeping people and choose her to make contact with. The next afternoon was idyllic - sunny and breezy and quiet - and I listened to her sing to herself while gently swinging in a hammock. Because of these events, I developed (in my head) a sort of unreciprocated intimacy with her that persisted for a couple of years. 

She was a Kazakh who'd overstayed a student visa by several years and was living in an expensive neighborhood in Boston. She rented out the bedroom of her one bedroom apartment through Air B&B. I don't know how else she made ends meet. She'd reached out to me through social media recently so I invited her out to dinner. 

We ate a delicious Spanish feast with lots of wine that night. She was not shy about eating or drinking or speaking her mind, and I liked this about her. When we'd finished eating and drinking, she told me she thought I was a nice guy and proposed to me. 

Here were her terms: we'd need to marry - soon - and establish the appearance of cohabitation for two or three years. There were some interviews we'd have to get through. We'd need to know very intimate details about each other. Immigration fraud is punishable by prison, so we'd have to have our rap down tight. There'd be no sex, but she could get me a couple of thousand dollars if I wanted. After a couple of years, we'd file for divorce.

She told me not to worry, lots of her friends did this. She told me that most men she'd proposed to tried to take advantage of her and expected sex or a lot of money. She could tell, though, that I was a nice guy.

It was early in trump's presidency. She told me she admired him. She said she loved donald trump. I asked her why. She liked that he was brash and bold. She loved that he had all the money and the power. That he was ostentatious. He was Alpha. He had balls. 

It's a con, I told her. He's weak. Empty. 

We talked about these things for awhile. Argued. About marriage and about what we were looking for and about trump.

Listen, you're still young, I said. You've got plenty of time to meet and marry someone you actually love. 

She laughed. 

And you, she said. What do you think? Some woman will come along and love you just for being who you are?