Row

Further from shore.

I went back to the city where I used to work to attend a send off for a young person I supervised. There were three other people there. I drank four cocktails. It was nice to see them. I like those three people. But as I listened to them talk, I realized how glad I am not to live in that world anymore. 

The sunlight glinting on the water makes me squint, and I can barely distinguish the distant shoreline. This small skiff, two oars, a folded sail, and myself. 

As I pull evenly against the oars, I keep seeing two snapshots through my mind's eye. One is a soaring eagle viewed from high above. My spirit remembers what it means and even how to do it. The second one is an image of your stern unsmiling face. This one catches in my spirit's throat, I guess you could say. I cannot alter or dismiss it.

I wish I could restore your lightness. Only now do I understand how precious it was.