I woke up in the night several times to pee, as one does when he's aging and his prostate is inflating, interrupting lots of dream activity. Most of it was just beyond recall upon waking and it's definitely long gone now. But I was in contact with people - interacting, relating. And when I woke up, there was a moment of adjustment when I realized those relationships don't exist in ordinary reality, and this lonesome feeling in the pit of me blooms.
This morning was overcast and my mood matched the heavy gray sky perfectly. When I feel like that, I don't remember the cuteness of the tiny baby cottontail rabbit I saw in the driveway at dusk yesterday. I remember that it hid under my car and think that I'll probably jump in and, without thinking, back over it with all of its siblings the next time I need to go somewhere. Mood colors and directs thought is what I'm saying.
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