She says she's been having persistent suicidal thoughts lately. I don't really have a lot to counter them with. The best I have to offer is what I try to do - break it down into manageable units. One step at a time. Try not to look down or up, forward or back. Take the next breath, then the next. Or just hunker down and rest.
After that, it seems to have kind of seeped into the house. This is not a place in which to nurture life, to recharge, or to feel sheltered. I don't have the energy to get it that way. Daunting. Resort to internal things - relationships, fundamental beliefs, self care practices. I see deflated pool toys scattered across the surface of a giant lake. Faded images, faces, words, meanings. There doesn't seem to be anything there.
This gets you thinking about what you've provided for your kids. What their structures look like. What shelter they have access to. This line of thought offers no buoyancy either.
This day has arrived. We have awoken into it. This day will end. And so will we.
There's no need to hurry.
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