7:30 am
Is this tinnitus? That tone, like the far end of a hearing test. Except for the waitress yesterday, and the bald guy who dropped his cash when he took his phone out of his pocket, I didn't speak to anyone or hear anyone speak. I spent the day listening to silence and found myself frustrated by that interfering tone. Is that what silence sounds like to the human ear? Or is the experience sullied by some kind of damage I carry?
11:15 am
Trying to catch up on work I didn't finish during the week. I've yet to start. But I ate, and the girls at Dunk's screwed up my order and ended up giving me two coffee drinks for the price of one. This town is very white. Whenever I interact with anyone here, I think trump. I saw a house this morning with a flag over the door proudly proclaiming VETERAN. Below it was one of those porch statues - a footman holding a lantern - and it looked to me that his face had recently been repainted a glossy black. Am I seeing what I think I see?
I went home.
Have I ever told you that your spontaneous use of the word whimsical broke my heart?
9:41pm
I needed to change the title. So at least I accomplished that much today, but very little else.
If I'm going to be with someone, I don't want to feel lonely when we're together. I don't want to feel far away, misunderstood, or like I'm watching her talking to me on a screen when she's right there in front of me.
I don't know how not to feel that way.
It wasn't like that when I was with you. Was it? I don't think so. Or is that just a trick of my memory?
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