I put a headboard on my bed last evening. No blood was shed, nothing was smashed in an impatient rage, and I finished the task without storming out in frustration. It's not exactly building a log cabin by hand, but for me it's a real step. That mattress and frame sat unfinished for many years. Now it's a full fledged bed.
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During the night I woke several times, and again this morning, remembering the physical sensation of love. And by that I mean that beaming, radiating, streaming feeling from the center of the chest in the vicinity of the solar plexus.
I remember fumbling trying to show you this new thing and failing to adequately describe it. Was this the heart chakra I've heard people talk about? You and I made it funny because it was serious. We called that spot my Deepak, after Deepak Chopra, because it was mysterious and a mystical thing.
But I knew what it was and I was afraid. The power was beyond my ability to contain or project or control. I understood it meant annihilation. I would drown in it. Be crushed by it. Be vaporized. Instantly.
It wasn't a choice. Not something I summoned or flexed or willed into existence. Something opened inside and it just came out. Or through me. Like I was a conduit.
You came to me one night. The feeling was, at first, something like a buzz. A warming at the center. A glow that steadily radiated through my entire body, getting brighter. And then it projected out from my heart. A stream of invisible light, beaming. Stronger and stronger until it started coming out through the palms of my hands too. Streaming outward until it became a torrent.
Glory.
How many times in a life does one know glory?
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