Flat

The storm is still blowing through. All day wind and snow. Just before dusk I saw four pairs of cardinals working at the feeders. I filled them twice today. Lots of activity. Cold and hard for the birds and squirrels, for everything, out there. I haven't gone out to shovel at all yet and am feeling pretty flat. A very young person, without too much history, told me recently that I needed to let go of all attachments. She said this in earnest. I remember having those thoughts too when they seemed like new thoughts. It made some sense to me then as at least a theoretical way to avoid suffering. But it also seemed like we were talking about the process of dying - letting go of everything and falling away into nothingness. What I felt though, was that the meaning in life came from significant attachment. Someone you connected at the level of the soul with and then held fast to forever. Come what may. I for you. That was living. Accepting all the joy and pain that came with the sacrament and sacrifice of attachment. I was earnest too. Today I felt unattached. I saw memories as though falling from a skyscraper noticing details of the rooms and their inhabitants as I passed.