March morning

One word I almost never say is "blessing." The noun. Like, what a blessing it is to have you in my life. 

It's one of those words that represents something beautiful, maybe even something sacred, that gets ruined along the way by overuse or corrupted by insincerity. Or maybe it's just a word someone who annoyed me said one time. 

Anyway, what a blessing these woods are to me. This morning, after a light rain, I walked in them again. I startled a great owl who flew higher up into a treetop where it could regard me at a safe distance. We stared at each other for a full minute. I put my hand on my heart. The owl turned its head as if checking to see if I intended the gesture for someone else. Who me? it seemed to say looking back at me again. Yes, you. 

Each being under the sun is equally beautiful and astonishing to each other. Even me.

On the trail, I heard the sound of water flowing over stones calling to me so I walked down to and along the brook. The moss and lichens are greening, skunk cabbage is sprouting, water bugs are skating across the surface of the pools. 

I let myself be guided by whatever it is that guides me when I shut up and get out of the way. I found myself back on deer trails following their impressions in the leaves, piles of droppings, evidence of chewed vegetation. Walking as quietly as I could with an occasional stumble or slip reminded me that I'm still a lummox with a lot to learn.

I thought of Walter Austin and his cool shoes. How much I envied him for his wisdom, his presence, his solidity. The first thing YOU have to do is heal yourself of anger, he told me with gentle firmness. He said one way to do that is to sit beside naturally moving water. 

I had it in mind to look for an opening in the earth when I set out this morning. The doorway to the other world - something I've been thinking about lately. As I walked, I looked around boulders, along the sides of hills, and at the bases of great old trees. At some point, I kicked up a stick about two feet long. One end of it caught the top of my boot along the bridge of my foot while the other stuck into the ground preventing me for a moment from swinging my left foot forward and holding me in place. I looked down directly into the hole I'd been searching for.